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Hello dere, Salty Dog heres, hows can I helps your love lifes?

Whats can you gives de sprite in de next cage for Valentines Days?  Well, hows abouts a swings in yours hammy and some of dem raisins yous been hiding in yours stash.  What?  NO's you cants just shakes her by her necks, dats not romantic.... I don'ts cares dat she gots a pretty neat screams, dats not a good Valentines gifts.  Dats why she's in de utter cage too.  Here reads Ferrets for Dummies and maybes dat will helps you.

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Hello dere, Salty Dog heres, hows can I helps your love lifes?

Squirrels, flirting wif you thru de window?...Ajax!  is dat you? .....Grandma has been fussin dats yous leaving tongue marks all over de windows, dats nots gonna do's you no good.  Day ain'ts wavin ats yous, dats flicking dere tails cause yous makin dem nervous.  You just gots da gets dem off your mind, quits panting.  Only dogs do dat.  Use your times ta makes friends wif our sisters, you gots ta gives dem a Valentines gift.  Now, whats you tink you can do...No dat kinda ting is reserved for APril lst, sumptin nice.  No, No, No, sumptin nice for DEM .  A years supply of erasers is nots nice, Ajax.   And you plays in de rice box more dan dey do so you had better not do dat nedder.  What am I going to do, wells, gee, whats am I going to do for de most romantic time of de year.  WOW, I's not taught about whats I should do... hum, maybe I coulds, naw, Grandma woulds gets me if I do dat.  How abouts,  no dat won'ts do nedder...   Hummm, Scoots over Ajax, dat one der in de tree, she has de pretties red tails dan'ts you tink, see how she is waiving it ats me?  OH YOOHOO, Hey Girlie, over heres....